The short answer to how to tie a bow tie: cross the longer end over the shorter one, pass it up through the neck loop, fold the short end into a bow, drop the long end over it, push its folded half through the loop behind, then tighten by pulling the folded wings apart. Below, each movement in detail, then how to adjust a pre-tied bow tie, the only kind Dare in Paris makes, and when that is the smarter choice.
The knot is simple. What makes a bow tie look right is decided before the first cross: the size of the bow, the collar, and the neckband.
Three shapes exist. The butterfly is the classic: rounded wings, about 6.5 cm (2.5 inches) high, the shape of the dinner jacket. The batwing is narrower, with straight wings. The diamond point ends in two points and gives a slightly asymmetrical bow.
Whatever the shape, the wings should not extend beyond the collar points, nor past the width of your face. A 6.5 cm butterfly such as L’Intemporel suits most faces; Le Dare in Paris, at 9.5 cm (3.75 inches), balances a broad face or a wide lapel.
Neck size decides the band length, set below.
The wing collar belongs to white tie and the traditional dinner jacket: a stand collar with two small tabs folded forward. The band passes in front of the tabs, which tuck behind the bow, so it is visible all round.
The turndown collar is that of an ordinary dress shirt. Its points hide the band, the easier option for a first bow tie. Choose a semi spread or spread: a button down is too casual for black tie, a very open cutaway shows the band.
On a self-tie, the band carries a slide adjuster marked in collar sizes. Set it to your shirt collar size, tie the bow once, and judge: too small a bow, lengthen the band by half a size; too big, shorten it.
On a pre-tied, the bow has a fixed size, so the band only sets comfort and position: set it to your collar size, so that it neither pulls nor lets the bow drop below the collar button.
Aim first for a bow that holds, then improve it.
The one knot every self-tie bow tie uses, whatever its shape.
Practice on your thigh first: with the bow tie flat across your leg you see the loop and the fold directly, without the mirror’s reversed image.
A good bow is made in the last thirty seconds.
Undo it properly and it will tie better next time.
Every Dare in Paris bow tie is pre-tied and adjustable: the bow is formed and sewn by hand once, and an adjustable neckband closes behind the shirt collar. Nothing to tie, three things to do.
First, adjust the neckband: set the slide adjuster to your shirt collar size, half a size larger if the collar is soft.
Second, close the hook behind the collar: collar up, band around the neck, hook fastened at the back, in the center, where the collar hides it. Turn the collar down; on a wing collar, push the tabs behind the bow.
Third, check that the bow is level: center over the collar button, wings parallel to your shoulders, band hidden. If it tilts, the hook is off center: close it again in the middle. A pre-tied bow does not loosen, so this check is done once.
The house chose the pre-tied bow tie deliberately. A self-tie is remade at every wearing, and falls slightly differently each evening. A bow formed and sewn by hand once, in our Paris workshop, holder of the Fabriqué à Paris label (the official Made in Paris label), keeps the same silhouette at the first wearing and the hundredth. The three shapes are shown among our handmade silk bow ties, and the making of each piece on the page about our craftsmanship.
A pre-tied is the smarter choice whenever the bow has to hold from morning to night: a wedding with photographs at every hour, a long dinner, a first evening in a dinner jacket. It also suits a large, textured shape, such as a 9.5 cm bow in woven silk.
For black tie, the rule is black. L’Intemporel, the classic butterfly in black silk satin, answers the satin facings of the dinner jacket (the tuxedo, in American usage). Le Dare in Paris, in woven silk, gives a matte, more contemporary contrast.
For white tie, the bow is off white, traditionally in piqué, with a wing collar. The house reserves off white for white tie: L’Intemporel, or Le Plongeant in piqué silk.
For a wedding, printed silk is welcome, especially in daytime: Le Plongeant, the diamond point with plunging tips, in polka dots, paisley or a plain color, sits lightly on a pale suit.
For everyday wear and creative dress codes, woven silk with a matte grain suits a tweed jacket or a plain shirt. For lounge suit or cocktail, a long tie is the safer choice: see our silk ties sewn by hand.
| Dress code | Bow tie | Collar | Shape |
|---|---|---|---|
| Black tie, classic | L’Intemporel, black or midnight blue satin | Turndown or wing | Butterfly, 6.5 cm |
| Black tie, contemporary | Le Dare in Paris, woven silk | Turndown, spread | Signature, 9.5 cm |
| White tie | L’Intemporel off white, or Le Plongeant piqué | Wing | Butterfly or diamond point |
| Wedding | Le Plongeant, polka dots or paisley | Turndown, semi spread | Diamond point |
| Everyday and creative | Woven or printed silk | Turndown, any width | Butterfly or diamond point |
Too tight. A band a size too short strangles the collar and pushes the bow up under the chin. A finger should slide under it.
Too big for the face. A bow wider than the collar points, or than the face, turns evening dress into costume.
A bow that is not level. A few degrees of tilt is the mark of a self-tie. A clear lean, or a bow below the collar button, is the first thing a photograph shows.
Shiny polyester instead of silk. Polyester shines flat under flash and does not hold a fold. Silk satin has a deep, moving light, woven silk a matte grain.
The wrong collar. A button down with a dinner jacket, wing collar tabs in front of the bow, or a cutaway that shows the band: each undoes a good bow.
Silk does not go in the washing machine and reacts badly to water: a drop leaves a ring as it dries. A stain is removed only by a professional dry cleaner. Store the bow tie flat, away from direct light. A crease is treated with a garment steamer held about ten centimeters (four inches) away, never with an iron placed directly on the silk.
About twenty minutes and three or four attempts for a bow that holds; a clean, level bow after a few evenings. The hard part is the loop behind the front wing.
Yes. A turndown collar is the standard for a bow tie today, including for black tie. Choose a semi spread or spread, so the points frame the bow and hide the band.
Pre-tied. A wedding lasts from morning to the last dance, with photographs at every stage, and a self-tie loosens and has to be redone. A bow sewn by hand once keeps its shape all day.
Match the bow to the collar and the face: a 6.5 cm butterfly suits most faces, a 9.5 cm shape a broad face or a strong lapel. In printed silk, Le Plongeant photographs well.
Yes. Bow ties are worn by men and women alike, in the same shapes and silks, with a tuxedo jacket or a white shirt. For a softer line at the neck, see our guide on how to tie a silk scarf.
Dare in Paris is an online house in Paris. Each bow tie is cut and sewn by hand in the Paris workshop and ships worldwide by Colissimo with signature on delivery. Delivery times and the fourteen day return policy are on the shipping and returns page.
From the workshop
Pre-tied and adjustable, cut and sewn by hand in our Paris workshop, holder of the Fabriqué à Paris label.
Service client disponible 7j/7.
Delivery within 48 hours in France, from 3 business days abroad.
Returns within 14 days. En savoir plus.
